Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
