I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So much rum. So many feels.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
