hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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