Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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