So drunk its hurt
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
