please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
