I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Don't make out with my wife yet
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
