Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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