she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
