Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
two words...techno handjob
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
