i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He did a backflip because drugs
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