question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
