if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
