I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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