he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
