Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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