i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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