she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
