You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize