I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
