elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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