There was a lot of him and a little penis
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
