im about as happy as oj after his trial
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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