so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
