Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
