I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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