high people should be assigned attendants
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
