help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
