You were right. It hurts to walk today.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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