sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
