I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
