I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
