Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
