So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
be right there i have to get my cape
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
