I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
nutella sex= disaster
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
