I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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