the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you win again, gameday.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
