She's JV to your varsity
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
