I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
