Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
