just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
