If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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