...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
