Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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