Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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