He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
