I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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