it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize