Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
