I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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