thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
