I swear she didn't look like that last week.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
