peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
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