Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
All the doctor said was why
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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