I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
