Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
