I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
