Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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