i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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