i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
